Muggle Contraptions
by Sable-eyed-lily
Summary: A series of drabbles. Draco gets introduced to the world of Muggles. Harry’s there to help.. Or try to help. How could this go wrong? Warning:SLASH
1. Face Book

**Face Book**

**Author: Sable-eyed-lily**

**Genre: Humor/Romance**

**Rating: K+**

**Summary: Draco gets introduced to the world of Muggles. Harry's there to help.. Or try to help. How could this go wrong?**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, sad to say. If I did, well... I'd be a whole lot richer. And just imagine all the rest of the usual disclaimer.**

**Face Book**

"This is stupid Harry!" Draco burst out.

"Just wait a minute. It'll be up in a few seconds."

"You said that half an hour ago."

"The computer's just a bit slow." Harry growled and went back to typing furiously.

"What's the point of this again?" Draco was sprawled across a chaise chair. There was a Quidditch magazine in his hands as he waited.

"You promised me that you would attempt to embrace at least one muggle thing. This is called the internet, and I am making you a Face Book page."

"But why would I want one? Why would anybody want one?"

"Because…Because they… just go with it Draco." Harry sighed in exasperation. "This is a part of the 21st century and you need to be a part of it."

*Ding*

"It's finished!" Harry yelled in triumph.

"That's nice…" Draco continued to idly turn the pages of his magazine.

"Would it kill you to pretend you're interested?"

"Yes, and I'm too gorgeous to die."

"Please…" Harry begged. "I spent all that time working on it. I even put your picture on it. Could you please at least look?"

"Fine." Draco peered at the screen from over Harry's shoulder. "What's that?"

"Hmm? Oh, someone just asked if they could be your friend."

"Well of course they do. Who is it?"

"Some girl that lives in London."

"Is she a witch? What does she look like?" Draco asked eagerly, now getting into the excitement.

"Draco… you do remember that you're gay, right?"

"Of course I remember. I just refuse to be friends with a hideous person. Father always said you can tell who a person is by the quality of his friends. I'm just following some good advice. Now do tell, is she magical or not?"

"Most likely not. Most witches and wizards aren't with the times. Plus, it's not like there's a little icon on here that says if someone's a muggle or not."

"That's stupid. How do we tell if we're being friends with _muggles_?" There was an added shudder.

"That's kind of the point. You're suppose to make friends with different people."

"But-"

"Let's move on. This little box up here is where you type. The one that says _'What's on your mind?'_Just type up there." Harry scooted out of the way.

"What am I suppose to type?"

"Just put down how you feel."

Draco paused thoughtfully. He typed something quickly. Harry leaned over and looked. _'Draco Malfoy: HUNGRY.'_

"Draco, you're supposed to-"

"-I've got this now Harry. You can go away. _'D-r-a-c-o M-a-l-f-o-y: G-O-R-G-E-O-U-S.'_Go fetch me something to eat while you're at it."

"Fine." Harry threw up his hands in exasperation and left for the kitchen.

**Soooooo.... What do you think????? R&R please!!!!!**

**XOXO  
Lils**


	2. Virus Alert

**Virus Alert**

**Author: Sable-eyed-lily**

**Genre: Humor/Romance**

**Rating: K+**

**Summary: Draco gets introduced to the world of Muggles. Harry's there to help.. Or try to help. How could this go wrong?**

**A/N: On this particular fic, I'm not exactly sure if I got the whole how to make a wire transfer thing right.. Hey, give me a break. I'm even out of high school yet. Hope you enjoy!!**

**Virus Alert**

"Draco? Are you still on the computer?" Harry asked with a yawn. "It's two in the morning."

"This thing is fascinating, Harry. What do the muggles call it?"

Harry squinted blearily at the screen. "That's my email you're in."

"Well, there was a thing on here earlier that asked for your money for some charity. It wanted to know your muggle bank account number and requested we give them a pin. I don't see how a pin would be of any use to them.."

"You didn't give it to them, did you?" Harry asked frantically. He lunged for the mouse.

"Of course not." Draco said scandalized. "I'm not that idiotic. If I was, I'd look like the Weasel."

"Thank Merlin." Harry nearly collapsed in relief.

"Harry?"

"Yeah?"

"You know how you've been saving up a lot of money for the Victims of the War Charity?"

"Yes…"

"I've found an even better way to help you."

"How?"

"Well, You got this email from someone who said they could increase the money you've saved."

"Draco…" Harry was getting a bad feeling about this.

"They asked that I send them 100,000 pounds as a down payment, so I sent it. I called that muggle bank of yours on the contraption and they understood exactly what I wanted and told me they'd get it done as soon as possible. The people on the computer said this investment will earn you millions for the charity. I also gave them your account number, just in case they needed it." Draco beamed. "Who knew that Nigeria had so much money hidden in it?"

Draco turned to Harry, and discovered he was passed out cold on the ground. "The shock of it must have been too much." Draco said proudly. "I told him I could understand this." Draco made a few more clicks on the mouse.

"Ooooh… _'Order Online Drugs for Half the Price'_. Those must be muggle potions. I'm sure Harry will want us to sign up. Perhaps they'll help his computer. I don't know why it keeps saying I have a serious virus. I feel fine… Stupid muggles…"

**Sooooooo... How was it? Hate it? Love? R&R please.**

**XOXO  
Lils**


	3. Infomercial Junkie

**Infomercial Junkie**

**Author: Sable-eyed-lily**

**Genre: Humor/Romance**

**Rating:K+**

**Summary: Draco gets introduced into the world of muggles. Harry's there to help... Or try to help. How could this go wrong???**

**Infomercial Junkie**

"Draco, are you sure about this?" Blaise asked nervously.

"Don't worry, Harry taught me how to do this." Draco said brightly.

"There's a reliable source." Blaise muttered. "Why are we doing this again?"

"I am going to prove to Harry once and for all that I don't need his help with anything concerning muggles." Draco replied.

"Is this what muggles do all day?"

"Yes, some have even died from overexposure." Draco said seriously. Both heads turned towards the captivating screen. Draco lazily flipped through the channels.

"Wait! Go back!"

"Stain-Be-Gone is the greatest thing I've ever used. Watch how easily it gets out the stains." The TV blared out.

"You should get that." Blaise encouraged. "Potter would like it. Every time I see him, he has food on his shirt.

"Hand me the teleprompter and I'll call them." Draco held out his hand.

Blaise handed him the phone. "Is that what the muggles call it? Teleprompters?"

"Of course that's what the muggles call it. All you do is press these numbers and you can reach anyone in the world." Draco showed him the number pad as he dialed. "You have to give people the plastic card number and your address, and they'll send it to the house."

"You can reach anyone?" Blaise looked impressed. "Can we call someone in South America?"

"I know you can, but I don't know the number……… Done! It'll be here in a few days."

"You know…" Blaise paused thoughtfully. "If you order more things from the muggle thing, it'll all arrive on the same day. And that way, you can surprise Potter."

"What else should we order?"

"I don't know about you, but I liked that Magic Bullet. I bet a wizard invented it, and a muggle stole the idea."

"Yeah, the word magic makes it so obvious that its wizard made. Muggles steal everything. What was the number again?"

~~~~~~~~HD~~~~~~~~

"Draco? I'm home. I- Draco? What did you do?" Harry paused mid-step. The entire living room was covered in packages and pieces of tape. It looked like a tornado had hit the place.

"Surprise!" Draco's head popped up from over the end of the sofa. "I did just what you told me Harry."

"You've decided to buy everything at the grocery store?" Harry began an attempt to sift through the sea of packages.

"I ordered everything we needed the _muggle _way." Draco said proudly.

"And why do we need a Snuggie Blanket?" Harry asked, holding up the blue atrocity.

"It's a blanket with sleeves. It keeps you totally warm and gives you the freedom to use your hands. Now you can read a book in total warmth and comfort. It's made from ultra-soft, thick, luxurious fleece.

Harry looked at him incredulously. "Did you memorize the entire infomercial?"

"Is that what they call it? Did you know they even make the Snuggies for dogs. A blanket with sleeves for dogs? What will the muggles think of next? I found all of them on the telly and ordered everything I could find."

"E-everything?" Harry asked faintly.

"Wait 'til you see what I ordered from the Oxy-clean guy. He's amazing. There's this other thing called a Slap chop. And wait 'til I tell you about this mixer thing." Draco raved. "It's a countertop wizard! It's worth hundreds of dollars, but I used your little muggle card to get it for ninety-nine dollars."

Harry sighed. "Well, at least Ron will now have some more company in the Infomercial Junkie Club."

**Soooooo... Did you like it? Hate it? Lemme know! R&R!!!!**

**XOXO  
Lils**


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